


don't keep on driving (let me say something)

by bechloehuh



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Chloe-centric - Freeform, F/F, Family Member Death, Fluff, Implied sexy times, Kinda, POV Chloe Beale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 16:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21139856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bechloehuh/pseuds/bechloehuh
Summary: Beca and Chloe's relationship told from the inside of Chloe's car.





	don't keep on driving (let me say something)

**Author's Note:**

> i got the idea for this from listening to warm on a cold night by honne, and somehow this (almost) 14k fic was born. title taken from ‘don’t keep driving’ by the paper kites (great song, great band. go check them out.) and [here's](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6FHHjrei7V5PNpc00eyRNy) a playlist to go with it.
> 
> not beta'd, all mistakes are mine. pls go easy.

_"I want to treat you something special / give you what you deserve / I want to take you to paradise / in a 1950’s Merc / and I can’t help but wonder / just how we ended up alright / and I love you like no other / and this has never felt so right / there's just one thing / girl you could have anyone / so why you choosing me and not leaving me on my own / girl, you could be with anyone / so thanks for making me your number one.” _ _  
_– warm on a cold night, honne

* * *

**Fourth Year**

She probably shouldn’t be driving when she’s tired, but Tom is sick and really, what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t take care of him?

It’s a warm September night in Atlanta. If it was any other night she’d stay at home, but Tom sounded terrible on the phone and it’s only a ten-minute drive to his apartment, so she figures it’s no big deal. She can crash at his tonight since she doesn’t have class tomorrow.

The radio is at a low hum, playing a mellow song she’s never heard before. If it was any louder she’d probably miss the sound of her phone vibrating on the seat beside her. She ignores the urge to pick it up and see who it is, though. It’s probably Tom asking her where she is and if she’ll be there soon, or Aubrey asking her if she got to Tom’s okay, or Jennifer asking her if they can meet for coffee tomorrow to go over their notes from yesterday’s Literary and Cultural Theory seminar.

When she finally arrives outside of Tom’s apartment building, she shuts the engine off and reaches for her phone. She’s about to text him that she’s here and needs to be let inside, but she’s caught off guard when she sees a new number sitting in her notification bar.

**[11:25 PM]** ****  
**(503) 509-6995****  
**hey it’s beca mitchell. u told me to text u my number so yeah here u go

She smiles at the name, thankful that she now knows Beca’s full name so she can look her up on Facebook and Instagram later. She presses the number at the top of the screen, adding it to her contact list, and she has to resist the urge to save her as Beca ‘Cup Girl’ Mitchell, because she doesn’t really _ know _ Beca and judging by her aloof, sardonic attitude that Chloe has beared witness to three times now, Chloe has a feeling she might not be impressed.

Still, that doesn’t stop her from testing the waters.

**[11:32 PM]** ****  
**Chloe Beale****  
**Cup girl!! I thought you’d never text! ;)

**[11:33 PM]** ****  
**Beca Mitchell****  
**cup girl? really?

**[11:33 PM]** ****  
**Chloe Beale****  
**We’re friends now, Beca :D And this is your legacy!!!

**[11:33 PM]** ****  
**Beca Mitchell****  
**great

**[11:33 PM]** ****  
**Chloe Beale****  
**Omg! You should totally teach me the song!!!

**[11:34 PM]** ****  
**Beca Mitchell****  
**you yell too much

Chloe blinks at the text, wondering if Beca is being serious or if this is one of those comments that is supposed to come off as a joke. It’s pretty hard to tell, and she usually hates the type of people who are dry with their texts. How is she supposed to tell what they’re feeling if they don’t use emojis? That’s what emojis are for.

Plus, the thought of anyone – _ especially _ Beca Mitchell – thinking she’s annoying doesn’t sit well with her.

**[11:34 PM]** ****  
**Chloe Beale****  
**Oh, sorry

She tries to ignore the feeling of dread at potentially driving Beca away already, but it’s in the forefront of her mind as she picks up her purse and the plastic bag with Tom’s stuff in and holds tightly onto her phone, staring at the three dots on the screen.

**[11:36 PM]** ****  
**Beca Mitchell****  
**no it’s ok i didn’t mean that in a rude way. sorry

Chloe smiles, stepping out of her car and locking the door behind her.

* * *

“Is all of this really necessary?”

“It’s tradition.”

She watches Beca for a second, laughing as she tries to wriggle out of the restraints that Chloe had put her in before leading her out of her dorm and into the car. The hood is still over her head and Chloe had to tie Beca’s hands behind her instead of in front of her, because Beca refused to go along with “this stupid fucked up game” as she had called it.

Chloe had taken to drastic measures, and now she’s pretty sure Beca might kill her if she ever gets free.

“This is _super_ dangerous, dude.”

Chloe laughs again, closing her door and reaching over to help Beca put her seatbelt on.

One of her hands is on the seat in between Beca’s legs while the other reaches past her for the seatbelt; the seatbelt that’s partly stuck in the door, so she’d had to tug on it a little, knocking into her. It’s only when she turns to look at Beca – Beca who still has a hood over her head – that Chloe notices their proximity. 

She quickly pulls back, thankful that Beca can’t see the blush on her face.

“Sorry.”

“Could you–”

“–Do you want me to untie you?”

“Yep, that would be ideal.”

Beca leans forward and turns to the right a little so Chloe can untie her. It doesn’t surprise her when Beca immediately pulls the hood off, throwing it down onto the floor with a huff.

“Are you _ insane_?”

“It’s tradition!” Chloe repeats.

“You’re fucking crazy,” She says, and it’s only the quiet laugh she lets out afterwards as she pulls the mirror down to sort her hair out that lets Chloe know she’s not as mad as she’s making out to be. “I’ll put the hood back on when we get to wherever we’re going, but I draw the line at being tied up.”

And really, Chloe can’t help herself.

“Okay, you don’t like being tied up, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Oh, my _ God_,” Beca huffs, sitting back in her seat.

* * *

Beca and Chloe have been friends – and Chloe uses that term very loosely, because she’s _ pretty _ sure Beca hates her – for two weeks when she realizes that they never hang out outside of Bellas rehearsal.

And since rehearsal only lasts five hours, that simply is _ not _enough Beca time.

**[5:44 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**What are you doing right now???

She’s in her car ready to start the engine when the text comes in, and she can’t help but let out a soft laugh.

**[5:55 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**studying

**[5:55 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
That’s a straight up lie  
Wanna hang out??

**[5:55 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**what were you thinking?

Chloe smiles, thankful that Beca hasn’t shot her down right away.

**[5:56 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Chinese food and a movie?

* * *

“I can’t believe this, Beca.”

“You’re so dramatic.” Beca responds with a laugh. Chloe drops the bag of Chinese food onto Beca’s lap as she starts the car, and she can feel Beca’s eyes on her but she doesn’t look back. Beca opens the bag of food, looking inside, before asking, “where are we even going?”

“I told you, I’m taking you to see a movie.”

“And _ I _ told _ you _, I don’t like them.”

She finally looks at Beca, tucking her hair behind her ear and shaking her head. “You… I can’t believe you don’t like movies. Like, you really don’t like them so much that you will say no to a movie date with me?”

“A date?”

Chloe swallows, ignoring the fact that Beca looks terrified at the thought of going on a date with her.

“Friend date,” she reassures her.

“I’d really rather _ not_, dude.”

“Fine.”

Chloe rubs at her throat uncomfortably, checking her mirrors before starting the car, pulling out of the parking spot outside of Beca’s dorm building and heading for the exit. 

She’s aware that Beca is fiddling with the radio, switching from one station to another, back and forth. It lasts about two minutes before Chloe slaps Beca’s hand away and tells her to stop. She feels Beca looking at her, and it’s only when they stop at a red light that she looks back.

Beca looks away, her lips pressing together to stop herself from smiling.

* * *

“Where are we going?” Beca asks after ten minutes.

She’s opened the bag of spring rolls and started to eat them, and usually Chloe would hate people eating food in her car – especially _ messy _ food – but for some reason she doesn’t mind right now. Her car needs cleaning anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

“We’re just driving,” Chloe says. “I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that you don’t like movies.” Beca laughs, her mouth full of a spring roll. “And you’ve never even seen Titanic. I just– who? _ Who _ has never seen Titanic? Who _ are _ you?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over how good these spring rolls are.”

Chloe groans, looking back out at the road. She’s not sure what song is playing on the radio again, but she’s tapping her finger along to the beat on the steering wheel as she waits for the light to change.

She’s not quite sure why she feels so drawn to Beca. She looked beautiful that day at the activities fair, which is why Chloe had pointed her out to Aubrey. The eyeliner, the piercings, the tattoos, her clothes; Chloe can’t deny that she ticked all of the boxes under her mental “my type” list.

But then she heard her sing, and she practically fell in love with the sound of her voice.

Now, she’s starting to wonder if it’s more than that. If maybe, possibly, she’s—

“Chloe?”

She blinks, looking at Beca.

“What?”

“Light’s green.”

“Oh.”

* * *

It takes twenty five minutes to get to where they’re going, with only the radio playing as background music. Occasionally, Chloe will sing along, but Beca never joins in with her. She guesses it’s because Beca’s shy, so she doesn’t question it.

“Where are we?”

“This is where I come to clear my head.”

“Why does your head need clearing?” Beca asks, looking out of the window beside her. She’s squinting, trying to figure out what’s so special about this place, looking around for any sign of life other than the trees, bushes, and the view of the city in front of them.

“Look up,” Chloe says, grabbing the bag of spring rolls and pulling one out.

Only, Beca looks up at the roof of the car, and Chloe laughs, thankful she hadn’t taken a bite of the spring roll already because she’s sure she would’ve choked.

“I mean look at the _ sky _ you _ idiot_.”

Beca’s eyes widen, and the face she makes reminds Chloe of the first time they met when Aubrey called her a bitch. It’s just a facial expression, and she hasn’t known Beca for long, but she can’t help but notice just how _ Beca _ that look is.

It’s attractive, in a way. That thought almost makes Chloe blush but she mentally shakes it off, instead choosing to watch Beca lean forward to look out of the front window at the sky above them.

“Wow,” she says, deadpan.

“Are you a robot? Are you _ ever _ excited about _ anything _?”

Beca laughs, accepting the box of noodles that Chloe hands to her. She’s aware that their food might already be cold, but she wanted to show Beca this place and how much she loves it here. The sunsets at Barden are Chloe’s favorites, and she’d love to be able to share them with Beca if she’ll let her.

“Hey, I appreciate you bringing me here, I do. But… you’re not like, gonna murder me, right? I mean, with the initiation thing, where you practically_ kidnapped _ me, and then–”

“–Oh, my God,” Chloe interrupts. “I’m not gonna murder you.”

“Oh. Why not?”

“_God_,” Chloe laughs. “Watch the damn sunset, Mitchell.”

All Beca does is smile, sticking her chopsticks into a piece of chicken and eating it off of the end.

Chloe adds _ she can’t use chopsticks _ onto her long, mental list of the things that make Beca Mitchell adorable.

* * *

“You wanna play twenty questions?”

“Why on earth would I want to play that?”

Chloe shrugs, shoving some noodles into her mouth. “I’m bored.”

“You seriously wanna– okay, fine.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Why not? You won’t murder me so this will be painful enough to do the job, right?”

Chloe laughs with a shake of her head, reaching over to shove Beca’s arm just as Beca is about to take another bite of her food. A noodle drops onto her lap and she freezes, one hand gripping the cardboard noodle box and the other holding the chopsticks as she looks down at the food on her leg.

She sighs. “Chloe.”

“Sorry,” Chloe says with a wince, trying not to laugh. The look on her face causes Beca to laugh though, which, in turn, makes Chloe join in.

(_Her laugh_, Chloe adds to the list. _ Her laugh is cute too_.)

“Alright, okay,” Chloe says, interrupting their laughter. “Okay, question one. When’s your birthday?”

“Really?” Beca asks, picking the noodle off of her jeans and dropping it into the empty takeout bag.

“Birthday. Now.”

Beca sighs. “November fifth.”

“Oh, so it’s soon!”

“Don’t get any ideas. When’s yours?”

“July twenty second, and that counts as your question. What’s your favorite song?”

Beca stops mid-chew, squinting her eyes and shaking her head. “I don’t… How the hell can anybody answer that?”

“I can! Mine’s Titanium.”

“Oh, _ jeez_, dude.”

Chloe laughs, dodging the screwed-up napkin that Beca throws at her. She watches as it bounces off of the window and into the cup holder in between them.

“You’re making a mess in my car!”

“But that trick shot, though.” Beca says, a grin on her face as she points to the cup holder. Chloe laughs, picking up the napkin and throwing it at Beca’s head. It bounces off and lands on the floor by her feet, and Beca opens her mouth in shock. “Now who’s making a mess?”

“It’s _ my _ car.”

Beca opens her mouth to say something – probably a witty response, Chloe thinks – but she stops as she drops another noodle onto her shirt, looking down at it with a defeated sigh.

“You’re like a child,” Chloe tells her. “Now tell me your favorite song.”

“Crosses by José González.”

With the way Beca answers, quick and quiet, Chloe’s mind tells her not to push, but she feels like this is an opportunity she can’t pass up.

“Why that song?”

Beca doesn’t answer, though; she shoves more noodles into her mouth and looks ahead at the last remnants of the sun setting over the city.

Chloe starts to think that maybe Beca likes it here.

“You don’t have to say.”

“Uh, where are you from?”

“Florida.” Chloe answers immediately. “Miami. Who’s your best friend?”

Beca looks at her, swallowing her food. “Um,” she looks away. “This guy back home. He’s called Zane.”

“Do you miss him?”

“It’s my turn to ask.”

Chloe smiles. She watches as Beca hums along to the quiet radio as she thinks, and she’s just about to tell her to hurry, when Beca asks her, “What’s your favorite holiday?”

“Oh, Christmas, for sure. What’s yours?”

“When’s international ‘leave me alone’ day?”

“Shut up, that’s not a thing.”

Beca laughs, eating another spring roll. “It should be. And it should be every day. What’s your dream car?”

Chloe smiles. “Why, _ this _ one, of course.”

“Seriously? Your dream car is a Prius?”

Chloe opens her mouth in shock and leans in closer, “shh, she can hear you.”

Beca snorts with a shake of her head, and Chloe can’t look away. It’s almost mesmerizing; the way Beca can be so casually cool, and pretty, and adorable, all at the same time. It’s rare, and so wonderful; so much so that Chloe can’t deny the fact that she’s slowly starting to like Beca a lot more than she likes her other friends.

“You’re _ such _ a weirdo,” Beca says, and Chloe smiles, entranced, as she sits back. “Your turn.”

Chloe thinks for a second. “What do you wanna do when you finish college?”

“Produce music. You?”

“I don’t know.”

“Seriously? You’re a senior and you don’t know what you want to do?”

“Wow, you sound just like my dad.”

“Sorry.”

Chloe smiles. “It’s fine, I’m messing with you. I’m just seeing where the wind takes me, I guess. Your turn.”

“Uh,” Beca pauses. “Worst thing you’ve done while drunk?”

“Got kicked out of a bar for taking my shirt off and throwing it at the bouncer.”

“For real?” Beca laughs, the hand holding her chopsticks stopping midair. A piece of chicken falls back into the box as she laughs, watching as Chloe shrugs nonchalantly. “Oh, my God. You didn’t.”

“I was hot, I wanted to take my shirt off!”

“You’re_ insane _.”

Beca’s laughter dies down as Chloe thinks of a question. She’s had a few questions stuck in her head since before the game even started but given the fact that Beca’s not exactly fond on opening up – or at least, not as open as Chloe is – she kinda figures those questions can wait until they’re better friends.

“What’s your biggest fear?”

“Um,” Beca’s eyes are cast down, staring at the food in her box as she thinks about her answer.

As she waits, Chloe keeps her eyes focused on Beca. She doesn’t mean to stare – and she’s certain Beca can feel her staring – but it’s hard to look away from something so beautiful. That thought makes Chloe finally tear her eyes away to look in front of her instead.

“I think I’m scared of not— of like, hating my life.”

Chloe looks at her again. “Why do you think you’ll ever hate your life?”

Beca looks at her for a brief second, before shaking her head. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Yellow.”

“Of course,” Beca rolls her eyes but Chloe can tell it’s all in good nature and she’s glad. She was worried she’d overstepped again; made it awkward between them by asking that question.

She makes a mental note to not pry as much.

(After this game is finished, of course.)

They carry on as they were though, until Beca announces, finally, that this is the final question, “so make it a good one, Beale.” And Chloe’s not surprised that Beca was keeping count of the questions, since she wasn’t really thrilled about playing this game in the first place.

Chloe taps her chopsticks together. Their food is sitting in the waste bag in the back seat, but Chloe kept hold of the chopsticks, needing to keep her hands busy as they spoke. She hums as she thinks of a question to ask that she hasn’t already asked yet.

(Honestly, she’s surprised – and kind of flattered – that Beca has already shared 19 personal details about herself.)

“Okay, you can’t get mad at me.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Why is Crosses your favorite song?”

Beca sighs. “I can’t just have a favorite song?”

“But it has to have _ some _ significance to it.”

“Like yours?”

Chloe rolls her eyes, tapping the chopsticks along to the Shawn Mendes song on the radio. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, I was just cur–”

“–It was my mom’s favorite song.” She interrupts. “And her funeral song.”

Her eyes snap to Beca’s, mouth open ready to say some kind of apology for overstepping; to tell Beca that she’s sorry and that nobody deserves to lose a parent. Her words get caught in her throat though, because Beca’s bottom lip trembles slightly, and she’s looking up at the roof of the car, blinking.

She wants to reach out, to pull Beca into a hug and tell her that it’s okay, she’s allowed to cry here. That she’s safe, and she won’t make fun of her. She’s not sure Beca wants that, though, so she just watches her instead. Watches and waits.

“Uh, anyway.”

“You can talk about it, if you want.”

“No, I’m good.”

“If you don’t mind telling me... When?”

Beca breathes out a sigh, tilting her head back to rest against the car seat as she looks at the ceiling. “When I was twelve.”

“Were you close?”

She closes her eyes. “Yeah.”

“How, uh… How did she…?”

“Cancer.”

“Oh, Becs.”

Beca breathes out a shaky sigh, opening her eyes and quickly leaning forward to turn the radio up.

“If you want to talk–”

“I don’t. Can you take me home?”

* * *

The car comes to a stop outside of Baker Hall, and Beca is taking her seatbelt off and opening her door before Chloe can think to say anything. She manages to catch her at the last minute, just before she shuts the door, telling her that she’ll see her at rehearsal tomorrow.

Beca’s response comes as a small smile, and a “thanks for the food” and she’s leaving before Chloe can say anything else.

* * *

**[9:17 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**national leave me alone day. we missed it

Chloe smiles, pulling her keys out of the ignition.

**[9:18 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**When is it?

**[9:18 PM]**  
**Beca****  
**october 5th

**[9:18 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Maybe next year :)

* * *

The sound of her boyfriend’s annoyed breathing is practically all Chloe can hear as she drives them back from the restaurant. She thinks he’s being a child, he thinks she’s cheating on him. It’s the same shit, over and over. Chloe’s not sure why she deals with it.

They’d had a fight. He’d apologized. Now they’re driving in silence, both too stubborn to be the first to speak.

The car comes to a stop and the sound of Chloe’s phone vibrating in the cupholder startles them both. Tom looks down and picks it up, sighing.

“Beca. _ Again_.”

“Jesus Christ, Tom.” She snatches the phone from him, cancelling the call. She’ll call Beca back later.

He gets out of the car with a huff, and she stuffs her phone into her purse before following him.

* * *

Beca’s birthday falls on a Monday.

Chloe texts her before class, asking her what she wants to do, and she’s not surprised when Beca doesn’t respond until noon.

**[12:09 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**do we have to do something?

**[12:10 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Yes! I love birthdays!!

**[12:14 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**can’t we just get chinese food again?

Chloe smiles.

**[12:15 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Sure! I’ll pick you up around four :)

* * *

“Are you serious, dude?”

She’s smiling as she looks down at the gift in her hands, and even though it’s wrapped in Mickey Mouse wrapping paper, Chloe has a feeling that Beca already knows what it is.

“Open it!”

“Okay! I mean, I think I know what it is.” She unwraps it carefully, and Chloe can’t stop smiling as she watches Beca handle the gift like it’s worth more than it actually is. “It’s…” she pauses, pulling the last of the paper off to reveal three vinyl records. “Records. I…”

“I don’t know if you already have them, but yeah... I kept the receipt just in case.”

She watches as Beca carefully puts the now scrunched up wrapping paper on the floor of Chloe’s car, and she would be mad if it was any other day but today; if it was any other person but Beca Mitchell.

“No,” Beca says, looking at the second vinyl. “I don’t have these.”

Chloe waits patiently for Beca’s reaction but her face isn’t giving anything away, and Chloe starts to think that maybe Beca is the only person in the world who she can’t read, and that thought kinda terrifies her.

“I hope it’s okay,” Chloe whispers, too scared to talk too loud in case it pops the little bubble that the two of them are in right now.

(Chloe’s not sure when _ that _ happened.)

Beca trails her finger over the picture on the front of the record sleeve. She turns it over to see the two tracks listed, and her short, black-painted nail scratches over the word _Crosses._ Chloe watches her every move, ready to move in to hug her the second she starts crying, but she doesn’t.

It’s only when Chloe clears her throat that Beca finally tears her eyes away from it, and Chloe suddenly feels bad for interrupting.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

It’s the first time Chloe’s seen her this sincere.

“Of course,” she responds, a soft smile on her face. “And the others? Are they okay?”

Beca just nods and tells her that she doesn’t have the other records – an X Ambassadors one, and an artist that Chloe hadn’t heard of before that she had seen on one of Beca’s Spotify playlists. She’s happy Beca likes the gifts, though, and she thinks that maybe the two of them are starting to become good friends.

* * *

Their first show with the new Bellas goes pretty terribly. Their second is arguably better, and Fat Amy’s solo is pretty amazing. (Although Aubrey would resent Chloe if she ever said that out loud.)

The one constant after the shows, though – and sometimes after classes, or when one of them needs to clear their head – is the drives that she and Beca take. Sometimes they just go to the diner 10 minutes away from Barden, and other times they drive for longer, mindlessly chatting about anything and everything. Sometimes they go to the city, take midnight drives down the freeway, or drive to the spot that Chloe showed Beca when they first became friends.

Somewhere along the way, it kinda becomes _ their _ spot.

Chloe’s totally okay with sharing it.

* * *

“He did it over text? Seriously?”

“Yeah, he said he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, even though we’ve been dating for a year.” Chloe sighs, thinking back to the endless fights they’ve been having since senior year started. “I know it’s all bull... crap. We’ve been fighting a lot lately.”

“That’s so shitty,” Beca looks away, fidgeting with her headphone wire. “I’m sorry, Chlo.”

The nickname rolls off of Beca’s tongue so easily that Chloe doesn’t even notice.

“I think it’s for the best.”

She’s not sure it’s much of a loss. Not when she has Beca.

* * *

She gets the text when she pulls onto the drive outside of the Bellas house.

**[5:45 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**hey uh don’t take this the wrong way but how come you wanted to spend time with me today? and not aubrey or stacie or ya know, anyone else?

**[5:48 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**I like spending time with you

A few minutes pass, and she’s about to get out of the car when her phone lights up and the sound of the vibration in the silent car startles her a little.

**[5:50 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
me too  
i guess

**[5:50 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**I knew it!

**[5:51 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
oh shut up  
i’ll take it back if you’re gonna be smug about it

**[5:52 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**No take backsies!

**[5:52 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**that’s not a word

**[5:52 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**It is now. I said so :P

**[5:53 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**you’re so annoying

**[5:53 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**But you love spending time with me!!

* * *

“God, he just drives me fucking crazy.”

Chloe hums, listening intently as Beca talks about her dad; about how he’s so easy to critique Beca on her decision to pursue music, but can’t handle it when Beca brings up the fact that he gave up on their family.

It breaks Chloe’s heart, knowing that she doesn’t have the relationship with her dad that Chloe thinks she deserves.

“And Sheila, don’t get me_ started _ on her. Did I tell you she bought my step-brother a new keyboard? The same keyboard I told her I wanted?”

“No,” Chloe signals to go left, looking to see if any cars are coming. “What a bitch.”

“Right. The kid doesn’t even like music and she gets— I don’t even know, it’s— God, I just,” she clenches her fists, and Chloe reaches out instinctively to hold her hand, knowing that Beca will probably end up hurting herself by squeezing her hands too tight like she has done before. “She knows for a _ fact _ that it annoyed me which is why she did it, I bet, and my dad—”

“Beca, can I tell you something?”

Beca stops, turning to look at Chloe. She glances down at their hands, as if she hadn’t noticed that Chloe had intertwined them, and sighs.

“Yeah of course, sorry, I’ve just been going on and on—”

“No,” Chloe interrupts as she pulls up outside of Baker Hall, “It’s okay, I just— I need to tell you this before I end up like, going crazy or something.” She shuts the car off and looks beside her at the students walking up the sidewalk. “It’s kinda like a big deal and I haven’t told anybody yet because I— I don’t really know what to—” she stops when Beca squeezes her hand, and looks at her to see her waiting patiently. “Sorry.”

“Dude,” Beca says, her voice quiet. “What’s going on?”

“I’m staying for another year.” She pauses, looking out of the window again. “I don’t want to graduate just yet.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“How come?”

She opens her mouth to answer but nothing comes out because that’s the thing, she doesn’t _ know _ why. Maybe it’s because she’s not ready to leave just yet, or maybe it’s because of Beca, or the Bellas, or her parents, or _ anything _ . It could be _ so _ many things, but Chloe can’t decide.

“I’m just not ready,” she says. “I don’t know.”

Beca shifts in her seat, pulling her hand away from Chloe’s to reach into the backpack by her feet. She pulls out her earphones and hands one of the buds to Chloe before plugging them into her phone.

“We’re back, don’t you wanna—”

“I’m not in a rush,” Beca interrupts, unlocking her phone and navigating to the YouTube app. Chloe leans closer, smiling when Beca puts on a compilation of funny animal videos.

There’s a million things Chloe wants to tell Beca, but she chooses to just say a simple “thank you.”

She doesn’t miss Beca’s shy smile.

* * *

It’s a few days after Beca leaves the Bellas when she calls Chloe, crying. It’s the first time Chloe has heard her cry, and a million and one scenarios run through her mind as she fidgets with the keys that she had just pulled out of the ignition, ready to go pick her up from wherever she is.

A breath hitches on the end of the line.

_“Why didn’t you have my back? ”_

Chloe feels her heart crack in two.

“I…” she pauses to think, but it’s hard to think when her mind is racing, trying to catch up with her heart. “It’s complicated.”

_“Bullshit.”_

“Beca.”

_“You know the audience were getting bored, Chloe. You know we needed to do something different. You’ve always known.”_

Chloe closes her eyes and lets out a shaky breath, her nails dragging over her scalp as she pushes her hair back.

“Beca, it’s not— I didn’t know what to say. You sounded amazing, but you… It caught us all off guard and Aubrey, she—”

_“I just needed one person to be on my side and— fuck, I hate that I was stupid enough to think that would be you.”_

Tears form in Chloe’s eyes and she wipes them with her knuckles, holding her breath in case Beca notices she’s crying.

A silent moment passes.

Chloe checks her phone to see if Beca is still there.

“Beca, I—”

_“I'm out. Tell Aubrey she got what she wanted.”_

The phone beeps, signalling the end of the call, and Chloe throws her head back against the headrest with a huff.

* * *

Her hands are trembling as she sits outside of the hospital. She reaches into her overnight bag on the passenger seat and pulls her phone out of one of the pockets. With a shaky sigh, she unlocks it and ignores all of the notifications to click on the text thread she has with Beca.

**[8:19 AM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
You’re probably not awake. Just wanted to let you know I’m at the hospital. Getting surgery on my nodes. It’s been scheduled for a while.  
I’m sorry again, Beca.

She doesn’t expect to see the three dots pop up so when they do, her heart immediately starts to race.

**[8:19 AM]** ****  
**Beca**  
good luck with your surgery

** _*Beca requested to see your location*_ **

Chloe bites her lip and accepts the request.

**[8:18 AM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
I’ll probably be done by 12

**[8:18 AM]** ****  
**Beca**  
see you then

* * *

The car door opens and Chloe sighs, ready to tell whoever it is to _ please _ go away so she can continue drinking this bottle of wine in peace.

“Chlo,” Aubrey says, and the sound of her voice is less on edge than it usually is, a result of her being less high strung about the Bellas and if they’ll be able to redeem themselves before graduation. 

It turns out, they could. And they did.

And it’s all thanks to Beca.

“What’s going on? Is this about Beca and Jesse?”

Her eyes are closed and she can see it so clearly. The grin on Beca’s face when their performance ended, chest heaving, eyes twinkling in the spotlight. They hugged, and when Beca pulled back, she lingered for a moment, her hands tight on Chloe’s waist. The Bellas were all pressed together so tightly, hugging and cheering and laughing and crying.

A swoop of Chloe’s head and they’d be kissing.

But Beca turned to the audience as soon as Chloe opened her mouth to speak, eyes searching the crowd. Chloe watched her, squinting past the light shining on them to find whoever it is she was looking for.

Chloe assumed it was her father. Beca had told her that they had made up before she came back to the Bellas. Dr. Mitchell was the reason Beca had built up the courage to apologize, to let them all know how much the group means to her, to lead them to the pool and show them how much potential they have if they work together.

Chloe watched as Beca’s eyes lit up and she smiled brightly. She’d found him.

They made their way off the stage, Chloe following close behind Beca as she led them to their seats to watch the next performance; the last performance before the results would come in.

Chloe watched, eyes searching for Dr. Mitchell so she could thank him for talking some sense into Beca, but she slowed down to a stop, causing Cynthia Rose to bump into the back of her, when she watched Beca walk up to Jesse.

Her heart stopped and she froze, like she was watching the world end in front of her very eyes.

“Chloe.”

She opens her eyes, shaking herself out of the memory. She nods at Aubrey’s question, throwing her head back and drinking as much wine as she can before Aubrey is pulling it out of her hand.

“You better not be planning to drive in this state.”

“I’m not. I just wanted to be alone.”

“Good.” Aubrey reaches out to rub her leg, and Chloe rests her head against the seat, turning to look at her best friend.

“Why does it have to hurt so much?”

Aubrey’s voice is quiet as she looks down sadly. 

“I don’t know, sweetie.”

* * *

**Fifth Year**

Beca’s the first person Chloe calls when she gets back to Barden after Summer break.

She’s already in her car, already prepared to pick Beca up from her dad’s so they can get lunch and go to their spot and talk about their summer. Her hand nervously plays with her keys as she presses the phone against her ear, and Beca answers on the fourth ring.

_“Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it.” _

Chloe grins at the sound of her voice. 

“Hey, idiot.”

She hears Beca let out a soft laugh and her eyes close as she bites her lip to stop herself from smiling any wider.

_“Are you back?"_

“Yeah. Can I come pick you up?”

_“Sure. Where are we going?”_

* * *

She helps Beca move into the Bellas house when the school year begins, and Beca helps her clean her car for the first time since she started college. 

(She knows it’s bad, but she’s always losing things and forgetting where she put them, so she figures that leaving stuff in her car is just a whole lot easier than them being strewn around her bedroom and forgotten about.)

“It’s gonna be weird living here,” Beca tells her when they pull up in front of the house. Most of Beca’s stuff is packed in the trunk, with a couple of bags and a suitcase sitting on the back seat. “I’m so used to this being _ your _ place.”

Chloe’s smile is big and only a little forced as she turns to Beca.

“It’s gonna be so fun!”

* * *

**[9:13 AM]** ****  
**Aubrey****  
**How are you, Chloe?

Chloe unlocks her phone and opens the message, fingers trembling due to how cold it is in her car.

**[9:13 AM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Great! You?

**[9:14 AM]** ****  
**Aubrey****  
**I mean how are you feeling about living with Beca?

Her heart hammers in her chest.

**[9:14 AM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Everything’s fine, Bree. Don’t worry.

She knows she should stop lying to herself—and she should definitely stop lying to Aubrey—but she has class in fifteen minutes, so she locks her phone and throws it onto the seat beside her, willing her heart to stop pounding.

* * *

“I still think you should’ve taken Jessica,” Beca says as she gets into the car, reaching behind her for the seatbelt. “I hate grocery shopping, much less when it’s almost _ Christmas_.”

“I don’t think anybody _ enjoys _ grocery shopping,” she says, putting the car into drive and looking over her shoulder for any oncoming cars. Seeing none, she pulls out of the parking spot and turns the radio on.

“Jessica does.”

“Jessica is _ sick_,” Chloe says, her fingers tapping against the steering wheel. “She’s why we’re going in the first place. She needs soup and NyQuil.”

“They sell NyQuil at the store on campus.”

“_ Beca, _ ” Chloe warns with a laugh, looking over at her. The afternoon sun is illuminating her face beautifully, casting a light golden glow on her pale skin. Beca looks at her and her eyes are bright, _ enchanting, _ with the way the sun is reflecting off of them.

She really is beautiful.

Her eyes turn back to the road, shaking her head to rid herself of her thoughts. Beca has a boyfriend. She shouldn’t be looking at her like that.

“Dude.”

“What?”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

She’s not sure Beca buys it, but she doesn’t pry. Instead, she switches the radio station, immediately turning it up when she hears that Titanium is playing.

Chloe’s knuckles are white from how hard she’s gripping the wheel.

* * *

She manages, after hours of searching through various travel websites, to get a cheap flight to Florida for Christmas. Coincidentally, it’s the same day Beca is scheduled to go to her father’s house, so it only makes sense for Chloe to drop her off on the way.

Beca has been nervous since she got in the car, and Chloe can tell because her leg is bouncing in her seat and she’s changing the radio station more frequently than usual.

“Hey,” Chloe reaches out for Beca’s hand, not slapping it away this time but lowering it back into Beca’s lap. She runs the pad of her thumb over Beca’s knuckles, heart pounding as she tries to act nonchalant; as she tries to act like holding Beca’s hand over the console of her car is _ not _, in fact, making her heart race.

They stay like that for a good minute as Chloe drives them, before Beca sighs and turns to look out of the window, her other hand coming up to nervously bite her nails.

Chloe thinks about letting go, but she doesn’t.

“What’s going on?” Chloe asks, stopping at a red light. She turns to look at Beca, thumb still rubbing over her knuckles.

“Just nervous.”

“Why?”

“Can I go to Florida with you instead?” Beca asks, ignoring the question.

Chloe knows it’s a joke, but her heart skips a beat regardless.

“It’ll be good,” Chloe tells her, as her phone lets them know they’re five minutes from their destination. “It’s only a few days.”

* * *

“I’m gonna miss you,” Chloe tells her as she pulls up outside of Beca’s dad’s home.

Beca breathes out a sigh, avoiding eye contact.

“Me too, I guess.”

Chloe smiles, leaning over to pull Beca into a hug.

* * *

**[1:27 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
my mom died around christmas time  
so like it’s just weird spending it with my dad and his wife i guess  
like it’s hard. last year was hard  
i don’t know. sorry

Chloe, while confused at first, starts to understand why Beca is telling her. That’s why she had been nervous on the car ride, and she’s not surprised Beca chose to tell her over text.

**[1:28 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
You don’t have to apologize Bec.  
I’m sorry I can’t be there with you.

Chloe thinks about what spending Christmas with Beca would be like. Cuddling up together on Christmas Eve with a hot chocolate each, watching a cliché Christmas movie like Elf, The Grinch, A Christmas Carol, or Chloe’s favorite: The Polar Express. Maybe wearing matching Christmas Pajamas and fluffy socks, sitting in front of the fire under a large blanket; Beca’s blanket with the stags on it, not Chloe’s pink fluffy one because Beca doesn’t like how it feels. Waking up on Christmas morning and exchanging gifts, maybe with Christmas songs playing as background music as they hand the gifts out to the rest of the Bellas, who are all tired but happy to be in the presence of their friends; their _ family_.

Technically they spend a little time together around Christmas, putting up the tree and decorating the house with Christmas lights and fake snow, but never Christmas day. They all leave to spend time with their families, or in Beca’s case, spend a few hours with her father and his family and then return to Barden to be by herself.

It breaks Chloe’s heart, knowing Beca will be alone for the holiday.

Chloe thinks about last year. How she opened her presents on her own while her parents stayed in bed until noon because they’d been working late. She thinks back to the dinner she made as her dad left to go to work because he had an important deadline. Her mother doing paperwork in her office, not even bothering to help set the dinner table. Chloe had almost burned the small turkey she managed to get on sale a few days before and her mother had come into the kitchen asking what the hell was going on.

Her heart leaps when she thinks that she’d much rather be with Beca and the Bellas than spending Christmas with people who don’t even miss her.

**[1:29 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**maybe next year

**[1:29 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
Yeah  
Love you Bec

* * *

The second Chloe returns home from the airport after the new year, Beca is already getting into her car unannounced. She’s about to ask her what’s happening but Beca is quickly turning to her, a tense, tight-lipped smile on her face.

“The Bellas are all fighting over who gets to pick the movie tonight and I’m begging you Chlo, please just drive and don’t stop until we’re out of Georgia.”

Chloe can only laugh.

Beca is wearing sweatpants and a huge blue sweater that has a stain on the collar, and from the way her hair is flat on the top, Chloe guesses that she’s had her headphones on for most of the day. There’s a tiredness to her eyes that Chloe assumes is from working on a mix, because she knows she gets an idea and doesn’t stop to take any breaks until it’s done. 

With Chloe being gone, she knows that nobody has kept an eye on Beca; made her food when she forgets to, made her tea before bed, or checked to see if she’s been at the computer for too long.

Although they’ve texted back and forth about their Christmas and New Year plans, Chloe still finds herself thinking that she wants to know everything about their time apart.

“It’s nice to see you too, Bec,” Chloe says.

She has a strand of hair over her left eye and Chloe is about to reach up to move it out of the way when Beca does it herself.

Beca lets out a breath and looks at her. “I’m so glad you’re home, dude.”

* * *

**[2:27 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
Hey are you home?  
I’m outside

**[2:29 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**why?

**[2:29 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**Can you come out?

**[2:31 PM]** ****  
**Beca****  
**i would if i was gay but i’m not, sorry

**[2:31 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
Oh my God, you’re such an idiot  
Come to the car  
Please?:(

* * *

The sound of tapping on the window pulls Chloe back to the present, and she leans over to unlock the car so Beca can get inside.

“Hurry, it’s cold,” Chloe says.

“Dude, I know,” Beca mutters, shutting the door behind her.

She’s breathing heavily, wrapped in a thick coat as she rubs her red hands together to try and get the feeling back in her fingers. It’s second nature for Chloe to reach over and clasp her hands around Beca’s own, rubbing them together to transfer the warmth from her gloved hands to Beca’s.

“Uh, thanks,” Beca says awkwardly. “So, what’s up?” Chloe can see her breath, and she tries to ignore the fact that Beca looks adorable, with pink flushed cheeks and a beanie on her head that’s almost falling over her eyes. “Chlo?”

“Sorry,” she releases Beca’s hands and sits back, looking in front of them instead of at Beca.

“Everything okay, dude?”

“You wanna go shopping with me?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No, put your seatbelt on.”

* * *

The drive back to the house from the mall is spent mostly in silence.

Beca occasionally switches back and forth between a few different radio stations every time a song she doesn’t like comes on, and usually Chloe would slap her hand away and tell her to stop messing around, but she doesn’t.

Sometimes she thinks Beca does it on purpose just to annoy her. Maybe that’s how Beca knows something is wrong with Chloe, because there’s no “stop that, leave it on” or “no stop, I love this song!” and Chloe doesn’t even blink when Beca turns the radio off completely when the new Katy Perry song comes on.

Her mind is racing too much to be bothered by it.

“Chlo?”

“Hmm?” She leans forward in her seat as she looks both ways to see if any cars are coming.

“You’re being super quiet. It’s weird.”

She looks at Beca. “I’m just concentrating.”

“I mean, like…” Beca sighs. “It doesn’t matter.”

Beca’s knee is bouncing up and down and she’s picking at a loose piece of thread on her shirt. And Chloe wants to keep looking at Beca – _ studying _ her to understand every one of her little quirks and mannerisms – but the light turns green and she has to set off again.

* * *

"My grandma died.”

“What? When?”

“Last night.”

“Holy shit, Chloe.” Beca breathes out, turning to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Well, no. I…” she sniffs. “Not really? I don’t know. We weren’t close at all or anything. I just— I needed to get out and… take my mind off of it, you know?”

“Yeah. No, yeah, I understand.”

“Thank you for coming with me.”

“It’s no problem, uh… you know I’m here for you, right? Whenever you need me.”

“Thank you, Beca.”

* * *

Their first real fight, ultimately, takes place in the car.

They’re on their way back from picking up food for the Bellas when Beca brings up whether or not Chloe’s going to graduate this year. Chloe tells her she’s not sure – because it’s the truth – and it quickly grows into an actual fight, which is new to them. Practically the only fight they’ve had before was in Beca’s freshman year when she walked out on the Bellas.

To say it catches Chloe off guard is an understatement.

“Dude, you have so much potential, I don’t understand why you’re wasting it staying here with the Bellas.”

“I’m not _ wasting _ anything.”

“Why are you still here then?”

“I don’t know, Beca, _ Jesus_! Why does it matter?”

“Because, I—” Beca sighs. “I don’t want you to regret staying.”

“Sounds to me like you don’t _ want _ me here.”

“What does it matter what I think?”

“So you don’t?”

“I didn’t say that, don’t put words into my mouth.”

“Okay well, frankly, I don’t think it’s any of your business. How about that?”

“Fine. Forget I said anything.”

Understandably, the car ride home is awkward.

And although Chloe desperately wants to make up because she can’t stand the tension, or the fact that Beca is mad at her, she’s not sure if Beca is ready yet. She knows she likes to sit and reflect for a bit, so instead of trying to make amends, she turns the music up a little louder to drown out her racing thoughts, and doesn’t look at Beca the entire ride home.

* * *

“Go in without me,” Chloe tells her when she pulls up.

Beca turns to her, frowning. “Why?”

“I just need some time by myself.”

“But… the food—”

“_Please_, Beca.”

Beca lingers for a moment before nodding. She doesn’t ask any more questions.

* * *

Chloe’s not surprised that Beca apologizes over text.

**[8:12 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
hey its been an hour, just want to know if you’re okay  
i’m really sorry for pushing you. i know it’s hard to talk about your future and stuff  
i want the best for you and of course i love that you’re here, you’re my best friend dude  
you were right though, it’s none of my business  
i really care about you, or whatever  
i’m sorry chloe.

**[8:18 PM]** ****  
**Chloe****  
**On my way home

Chloe has to stop herself from following the text up with an “I love you”, reminding herself that Beca has a boyfriend.

* * *

Chloe likes to forget, though.

Her favorite thing is when they’re driving in the sun, singing along at the top of their lungs to whatever song Beca chooses from one of her many playlists.

Beca’s hair blows in the wind as she holds her arm out of the window, moving her hand in an up and down wave motion. The sun is shining in her eyes even though the sun visor is down, so her eyes are closed and she’s smiling so serenely that if she wasn’t singing, Chloe would think she was asleep. She’s quietly singing along to the song that came on shuffle, and although Chloe doesn’t know what song it is so she can’t sing along, she can’t help the way she grins as she looks out at the road, thankful that she’s alive at the same time as the girl next to her.

“_I'm waking up in your house on a San Francisco Street_,” Beca sings. “_We tune out all the nasty weather, and it's all in front of you and me_.”

“I love this,” Chloe says, voice raised over the music. She’s not sure whether she’s talking about the song or the moment; watching Beca sing along to the radio blasting in her car as they make their way towards the city.

Beca turns to her, smiling. “Me too.”

* * *

They’re in their spot, eating McDonald’s and listening to another one of Beca’s many Spotify playlists, when Chloe tells her that she’s not graduating again.

She tries not to notice the frown form on Beca’s face before she looks at her, expression neutral, mouth full of her burger.

“The Bellas?” she asks, and Chloe nods.

“I’m not ready to leave them just yet.”

* * *

**Sixth Year**

****The first time Chloe picks up a drunk Beca, it’s after she’s been out at a bar with Jesse and they had a fight. The call is quiet and muffled, but Chloe gets the gist of what she’s trying to say, and it’s not long before she’s in the parking lot, texting Beca that she’s here.

When Beca gets in the car she’s wet from the rain, and Chloe immediately reaches into the back seat for her blanket—a smaller purple one, not the pink fluffy one that Beca hates. She wraps it around her, strokes a hand over her damp hair, and asks her if she’s okay.

Beca shakes her head and Chloe’s rubs at her shoulder, hoping to warm her up.

“Thanks for coming.”

“Of course.”

She can smell the beer on Beca’s breath as she turns to face her.

“Hi,” Beca says, with a tired smile, and Chloe can’t help but smile back.

“Hi yourself.”

“I’m drunk.”

“I can see that.”

Beca looks in front of them at the bar, and Chloe watches Beca; watches the way her breathing evens out as she gradually warms up, and the way her lips are mouthing along to the song quietly playing from the radio. Her eyes are glossy and her cheeks are pink, and Chloe has to move her hands away from Beca to stop herself from possibly doing something stupid, like leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

She starts the car, tells Beca to put her seatbelt on, and sets off driving.

* * *

**[6:18 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
hey chlorine what time does class finish  
chlo* wtf who’s chlorine  
can u get tacos me an amy want tacos

Chloe stifles a laugh as she puts her seat belt on and turns the keys in the car.

**[6:20 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
Are you drunk Becs?

**[6:20 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
.. maybe.  
tacos?

**[6:20 PM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
Yes, child. I’ll get tacos

**[6:21 PM]** ****  
**Beca**  
YES  
i love u

* * *

Chloe’s not sure why it took so long for her to meet Beca’s dad.

After hearing stories about him and his wife from Beca, Chloe expected a cold, heartless, maybe _ mean _ person. The man she met tonight was something else, though. She knows Beca has grown since freshman year—has talked to him about how she felt about him leaving, how she felt that she hated him so much that she sometimes wished it was him who died instead of her mother. She knows that Beca doesn’t mean those things, and that although it still hurts, they’re making progress.

Still, the man she met tonight was so kind, so wise, even _ funny_.

He had made lasagna and Sheila had made apple pie for dessert, and although Beca had been uncomfortable at first, she gradually became calmer throughout the night.

Chloe wonders if it was because she was there.

(She doesn’t ask.)

She wonders why she had accompanied Beca tonight and not Jesse.

(She doesn’t ask her about that, either.)

The drive back to the Bellas house is only ten minutes, so they don’t really get a chance to talk about much before she’s pulling up onto the drive.

She leaves the car on as she turns to Beca.

“I like your dad,” she tells her with finality, as if she had spent the ten minute drive deciding his fate. “He’s funny.”

“That’s the Mitchell charm, I guess.”

“I’m glad you two have made amends.” She turns the car off and pulls her keys out of the ignition. “And I can tell he really loves you.”

Beca’s silent for a minute, before she shifts in her seat. Her fingers tap against the tupperware container that Sheila had packed to the brim with leftover apple pie for the Bellas.

“Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course.”

* * *

She’s in the car with Beca when her mom calls.

She had texted her two days ago, telling her she’s gonna stay in Barden for Christmas this year and honestly, she's not surprised it’s taken her this long to get back to her.

“You want me to answer that for you?” Beca asks, but Chloe shakes her head as she reaches down to cancel the call.

“She’s probably just asking why I’m not going home for Christmas this year.”

She feels Beca’s eyes on her but she keeps hers on the road.

“You’re staying here?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? I mean…”

Chloe smiles, thinking about the present she has for Beca that’s stuffed in the bottom of her closet.

“Don’t really have any reason to go home,” she says. “My parents are always working anyway.”

She knows Beca wants to ask her more questions, but instead she turns the radio on and groans when a Christmas song immediately filters through the car speakers.

“Oh, I love this!” Chloe says with a grin, turning the radio up. “_There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow!_” she sings at the top of her voice, grinning when Beca covers her ears. She reaches over to pull one of her hands away, waving it as she sings along. “_There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago!_”

“God, you’re the _worst!”_

“Sing with me!”

Beca’s cheeks are pink when she starts to sing.

_“It's the most wonderful time of the year!”_

* * *

Chloe turns to look at the girl sleeping beside her, wondering if it would be weird if she took a picture. She wants to remember this moment.

Another ICCA win under their belt.

Beca shifts in her seat and when Chloe looks at her this time, her eyes are open. She’s squinting against the sun, confused, as if she’d forgotten where she was.

“You talk in your sleep,” Chloe says, teasing her. Beca swats at her arm and it pulls a laugh from Chloe, before she’s taking her phone out of her pocket and clicking onto her recent calls to call Jesse back.

Chloe’s heart sinks.

* * *

Chloe’s lost track of how many drinks she’s had when she stumbles into her car, almost spilling the drink from her yellow cup onto the seat. The passenger door opens and Beca gets in, mindlessly humming along to the song playing from the speakers outside. It’s a little muffled but Chloe recognizes it as the new Selena Gomez song that Stacie had played for the Bellas yesterday.

“Why are we here?” Beca asks as she shuts the door. “You’re not driving.”

“I know. I just wanted a minute alone.”

Beca looks at her, confused.

“Then why’d you bring me with you?”

“You know what I mean.” She swirls the liquid around the cup before taking a drink. “Not_ alone _alone. Just like, alone with you.”

Beca reaches out to turn the radio on but Chloe stops her, turning to look at her.

“I failed again.”

Beca sighs. “Chloe.”

“Don’t.”

“You can’t stay here for—”

“I said _ don’t_. I just want to sit here with you for a minute without you judging me.”

Chloe wasn’t expecting a positive reaction from Beca, but it still cuts a little deep. She’s not ready yet. The Bellas are just getting big. They’re performing for the president of the United States in a few months. She can’t pass up that opportunity. Plus, she’s still not sure what she wants to do with her life just yet. Graduating will only make it worse, will only make her even more confused. Graduating without Beca doesn’t feel right.

She sniffs before taking another drink, fighting back the urge to cry.

(She shouldn’t have had those Tequila shots with Amy.)

She looks ahead of her at the house, wondering if it would be acceptable to just sit in her car with Beca for the rest of the night.

“I’m sorry,” Beca whispers, startling Chloe out of her reverie. 

When Beca’s hand touches hers, she feels those tears that she’s been trying to hold back finally spill down her cheeks.

* * *

**Seventh Year**

Her arms are outstretched in front of her, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that it starts to hurt, but Chloe can’t let go. Tears are streaming down her face and she’s sure that if she were to look in the mirror—which she is _ not _ going to do—she’d see the black tear tracks down her face.

This was supposed to be the year. Everything was supposed to go perfectly.

She closes her eyes, squeezing them shut, and it’s only when delicate fingers touch her hand that Chloe remembers Beca is in the car with her.

“Chloe, it’s gonna be okay.”

She looks out at the city in front of them, her breath ragged and her heart pounding.

Beca leans over, her hand rubbing up and down Chloe’s arm. It’s a lot for Beca to initiate contact like this, so Chloe doesn’t take it for granted. She’s not sure she could resist anyway. Beca has a calmness to her that Chloe’s grown fond of, that she finds hard to go up against.

Her hands relax their grip on the wheel and she lets Beca take one of them in her own hands, thumb brushing so softly over her knuckles.

“Breathe, Chloe. In, out.”

Chloe sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly, her shoulders deflating as Beca’s contagious sense of calm seems to wash over her. A hand reaches out for her face, thumb smoothing over the frown lines in between her eyebrows.

She turns to look at Beca, her tightened jaw slackening.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

Her eyes close as Beca pushes her hair behind her ear and she leans into the touch, sighing.

“Nicolle Wallace called us National disgraces, Beca, it is_ not _ okay.”

“Hey,” Beca laughs, but her voice is so soft and warm, it almost makes Chloe start crying again. “Nicolle Wallace can suck it. She’s a terrible host.”

“But—”

“No, hey. _ Hey_,” she wipes her thumb over Chloe’s cheek, pulling her hand away and making a face at the black moisture before wiping it on her jeans. “We’re gonna win worlds and we’re gonna get that suspension lifted, okay?”

“But the tour, and the German group, and—”

“Chloe,” Beca interrupts, her hand dropping to rest in Chloe’s lap. She rubs soothingly at the material of her jeans, and Chloe watches her, scared and hopeful eyes locking with Beca’s calm ones.

“The Bellas are _ over_, Beca. The past seven years have been for nothing.”

“This is just a bump in the road.”

“But—”

“We’re gonna win worlds and we’re gonna get reinstated. It’s gonna be _ fine_.”

The finality in Beca’s voice is almost enough to convince Chloe.

* * *

“So what do you think about Emily?”

Beca lifts the bag of chips, holds it over her lips and with a shake, what’s left of them slide into her mouth. She chews on them as she screws the packet up into a ball, throwing it up and catching it once, twice, until she misses it on the third. It bounces off of her leg and drops to the floor.

“She’s… excitable.” She leans over to pick the ball up, fiddling with it in her hands for a moment before reaching over to turn the radio up.

“I think she’s cute.” Chloe says. “I think she’ll be a great captain... after we graduate.”

Beca looks at her, and Chloe doesn’t even need to look back to see that Beca has a hopeful smile on her face.

“Dude.”

“I know,” Chloe laughs. “_Finally_, right?”

Beca’s hand reaches out to push at her arm playfully.

“Finally.”

* * *

They spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together this year.

Chloe wonders, as she pulls up outside of the house after her quick trip to the grocery store for potatoes—because they somehow forgot them on their two-hour long grocery run last week—if it’s supposed to feel this way. If the thought of coming home to Beca is supposed to make her feel so excited and warm inside. If her heart is supposed to race at the thought of Beca in their kitchen, making the food, probably cutting the onions the wrong way, but that’s okay because it’s _ Beca _, and Chloe loves her.

The excitement bubbles up so much that her heart starts to race and she briefly wonders if she’s having a heart attack.

But then the curtain in the living room moves and Chloe watches as Beca pulls it back and waves at her, motioning for her to come inside. She has one of Ashley’s baking aprons on and Chloe’s not surprised it’s covered in food.

Chloe waves back and Beca grins, turning to the side and making it look like she’s walking down some stairs. It’s so adorably stupid, so adorably _ Beca_, that Chloe’s not surprised that her eyes start to water.

“God, I love you,” she whispers into the empty car.

* * *

Chloe settles into the driver's seat with a sigh as Beca gets into the passenger seat. She doesn’t put the key into the ignition just yet, instead choosing to wait until Beca is settled.

After a minute has passed, Beca finally looks at her. “Are you gonna drive?”

“Nope,” she says and Beca brings her legs up to sit cross-legged on the seat.

“So we’re just gonna sit here.” Beca says, drumming her fingers onto her knees. “Cool, cool, cool.”

“I’m not driving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Oh my God, I already told you I’m fine.”

“You’ve been weird since this morning.”

“Chloe.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because it has nothing to do with you.”

Chloe finally starts the car, pulling out of the parking space to go home. 

They drive in silence, with the radio playing quietly, until they pull up outside of the house and sit in even more silence until Chloe sighs, ready to get out. She pulls the keys out and takes her seatbelt off.

“Jesse broke up with me,” Beca says, as if she’s telling Chloe that it’s raining outside.

Chloe turns to her, eyes wide.

“It’s not a big deal,” Beca says, before Chloe can say anything. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. I don’t want you to make it into a big deal. It was a mutual thing anyway. We're fine." She huffs, and Chloe's too scared to say anything. "Can we just— I don’t know, I just don’t want it to be a big deal.”

Chloe’s heart hammers in her chest.

“You want to go watch TV?”

“Yeah.” Beca’s sigh sounds relieved, and Chloe thinks she sees a hint of a smile as she gets out of the car.

* * *

“Why do you look like someone died?” 

Chloe glances at Stacie before looking back out at the road, shaking her head. Before she can say anything though, Stacie leans forward to turn the radio down before propping her feet up on the dashboard. “Come on, spill it.”

“It’s nothing,” Chloe says, but she knows that Stacie doesn’t buy it because she lets out a breathy laugh as she goes back to filing her nails. She wants to turn the radio back up to drown out the sound of her heart racing, but her hands stay gripping the wheel and soon, they’re coming to a stop outside of the pizza place.

She sighs.

“Beca and Jesse broke up.”

“Shit, really?”

Chloe nods. “Does it make me the worst friend in the world if I’m... happy about it?”

Stacie puts her legs down and turns to look at her.

“You like Beca?”

She can only nod again, closing her eyes as she leans forward to rest her forehead against the steering wheel. “I’m the worst, I know,” she mutters, squeezing her eyes shut and knocking her forehead against the wheel. “I’m an idiot.”

“Dude,” Stacie laughs, poking Chloe’s arm. “You’re not an idiot.” Chloe opens her eyes and looks at Stacie, raising her eyebrows. “Okay, you’re a bit of an idiot, but it’s normal. This is like when Joe broke up with me before I could tell him I slept with his brother.”

Chloe thinks that’s not like her situation _ at all_, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Why don’t you tell her? I think she likes you back, you know.”

Chloe tries not to get her hopes up, but she can feel them creeping up inside of her, like they have been for the past couple of years.

“I don’t know. I’m scared.”

Stacie puts her nail file onto the dash and unbuckles her seatbelt.

“At least think about it.”

* * *

She’s sure their food is cold by the time they make it to their spot, but Chloe’s not sure she minds all that much. It’s probably the last time they’re gonna be here before finals, before graduation, before worlds.

Chloe can’t think about what will happen after that. She’s not sure what it’ll do to her heart.

“Hey.” Beca says, and Chloe doesn’t miss the strain on her voice as she starts to nervously bounce her leg. “I wanted to ask you something.”

Chloe watches her, eyebrows a little furrowed in confusion at her best friend looking so anxious. She taps her finger against the steering wheel as she waits.

Beca looks at her.

“Everything okay?” Chloe asks when their eyes meet, trying to keep her tone light and soft.

“Yeah. Feel free to uh, to say no if you— you know what, hold that thought. No, forget that thought. Let’s go back home, we can—”

“Woah, Bec,” Chloe laughs, reaching out for her hand. “Calm down. Why are you being so weird?”

“I’m not being weird.”

“You’re being _ super _ weird.”

“Well… Okay. I talked to Amy and we— she, uh…”

“Beca, just spit it out.”

“How do you feel about New York? Moving there, maybe.”

Chloe thinks back to the ICCA’s, how they’d go there a day earlier so they’d have time for some sightseeing before the competition. She thinks about the walks she’s taken with Beca in Central Park, and the sounds of the city from their hotel room, and the early mornings in the coffee shop as they both waited for their order of 10 coffees and 10 bagels for the girls. 

She’s always loved New York. 

Especially New York with Beca.

“You’re asking me to move in with you? You’re not gonna ask me on a date first?” Beca smacks her arm and Chloe laughs. “Beca, I’d love that.”

“Yeah? I mean, Amy will be there too so I… like, it’s not… weird.”

“It’s only weird if you make it weird.”

“Yeah.” Beca’s breath comes out shaky.

Chloe doesn’t mention it.

* * *

“I can’t believe this is it.”

“This isn’t it, Chloe, we’ll probably be back for a reunion in like a week.”

Chloe knows Beca’s only saying that to comfort her, but it makes her smile because she already has a document in her Google Drive outlining their first reunion tour. You know, just in case.

Most of their stuff is piled high in a moving van that Amy and Stacie will be taking, and they’d packed the rest of their belongings into Chloe’s car and handed the keys to Emily before initiating her.

“I can’t believe we did it,” Chloe says, looking ahead of her. She leans over to look up at the house, suddenly feeling a weight on her chest at the thought of leaving her home.

“Hey.” She turns to look at Beca, who has her headphones around her neck with a muffled song playing from them. “I’m so proud of you, Chlo.”

Suddenly, the car feels too hot.

“Are you trying to make me cry again?”

Beca laughs, pulling her headphones off to wrap the wire around them and put them onto the backseat, on top of one of the boxes.

Emily shouts them from the doorstep of the house, and they both turn to her. She waves with her huge, infectious smile, and they both wave back at the same time.

Beca taps her on the arm.

“Ready?”

Chloe’s shoulders come up and she huffs, letting them drop, shaking off any excess nervousness before starting the car.

“Ready.”

* * *

**New York**

Beca looks up in wonder at their new apartment building, like it’s a magical castle and not a one bedroom studio that is somehow going to room three of them.

“Dude,” she says, looking up. “I bet the view of the city is so sick.”

Chloe’s looks at her. Her nose tingles, her heart clenches, her fingers tighten around the wheel.

“Come on,” Beca says, unclipping her seat belt and opening the car door. “Last one up buys dinner!”

* * *

The second Beca gets into Chloe’s car after work, Chloe can tell she’s nervous.

She doesn’t mention it, not wanting to pry. She figures Beca will tell her when she’s ready—_if _ she’s ready. The radio station gets changed a total of, Chloe thinks, _ a billion _ times in the short time it takes to get food for the three of them and drive home.

Eventually, Chloe can’t handle it.

“Beca, stop it.”

Beca’s hand stops and she pulls back, folding them in her lap instead.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Beca.” Chloe repeats.

“I’d like to go on a date.” She blurts, and Chloe frowns as she glances at her for a moment before turning left towards their apartment building. 

“What?”

“A date. With _ you_,” she reiterates. “We could go on a date and then we could just be... on the date and that could be fun.” She pauses to swallow. “Right? But if not that’s cool too, like, who cares? We’re just- It doesn’t have to mean that- you know what, we’re both adults here, and I’m—”

“Beca,” Chloe interrupts again, reaching a hand out to stop her leg from bouncing. “Please stop talking.” Beca looks at her, mouth parted and her eyes wide. “Did you just have a stroke or something, are you okay?”

“I think I blacked out.”

Chloe laughs as she pulls up outside of their apartment. She looks at her, reaches out to hold onto her leg again, squeezing it reassuringly.

Beca smiles back at her, her own hand slowly covering Chloe’s. Her fingers are trembling a little as she runs the tips of them over Chloe’s knuckles, softly stroking at her skin. She twists Chloe’s hand so her palm is facing up, and puts her own over it, intertwining their fingers. It’s so slow and careful, Chloe can’t help but watch her every move, practically holding her breath as to not startle her.

“Bec,” She rasps. Beca looks up at her, eyes a little wide; a little scared. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

“Really?”

Chloe laughs again, nodding.

Her phone vibrates and she picks it up with the hand that Beca isn’t holding.

**[5:17 PM]** ****  
**Amy**  
I see you two being all gross and soft, get your skinny arses up here with my food already!!

* * *

It takes a while for Chloe’s mind to process that Beca had actually asked her on a date.

She spends most of the next morning before work driving around the block, driving back to their apartment before turning around to do it all again. She stops a few times; on the side of the road, outside of a bodega, outside of a random apartment building. She feels like she’s going crazy.

She pulls her phone out and texts Aubrey.

**[8:32 AM]** ****  
**Chloe**  
Beca asked me on a date

**[8:38 AM]** ****  
**Aubrey**  
Seriously? That’s amazing, Chloe!

With a sigh, she reads over the text twice, three times, too many times to count, wondering why she feels like this isn’t real. That maybe the universe is playing a cruel prank on her. She’s wanted this for so long that she’s finding it hard to believe that Beca actually wants her back.

* * *

Sure enough, the date is real.

They go to dinner and Chloe spends most of it pinching herself, because Beca looks beautiful. She’s wearing a blazer that Chloe’s never seen her wear before and her hair is down in loose curls, her makeup darker than usual, like how she used to wear it in freshman year.

The date is real and so are Beca’s lips as she leans over the car outside of their apartment to kiss the corner of her mouth. She lingers there for a moment until Chloe’s brain catches up and she turns her head, pushing forward to capture Beca’s lips with her own.

She pulls her closer, letting everything she’s not been able to say over the past four, almost five years, transfer through them, to the tip of her tongue as it licks across Beca’s bottom lip.

She hopes that Beca understands.

It’s oddly familiar, kissing Beca. Her eyes are closed and warm lips are pressing insistently against her own, a hand sliding up to cup her face. Beca’s thumb brushes against her jawline so softly, a hint of a touch that has Chloe shivering, even though it’s Summer in New York.

Beca pulls back first, smiling when Chloe’s mouth chases hers for a second before pulling away.

“Is, um… Is Amy—”

Beca cuts her off with a shake of her head. “She told me she’s spending the night with Jason.”

Chloe takes her seatbelt off. She doesn’t know who Jason is.

Honestly, she doesn’t care. Not when Beca is looking at her like that.

* * *

Chloe pulls up to the small clearing that she had found a few weeks ago. It had reminded her of their spot back at Barden, just without as much nature. That’s why she picked it. It’s fairly private, but they can still see over the city, much bigger and brighter than Atlanta was.

Beca hands her a box of noodles before opening her own, struggling with her chopsticks with every bite. Chloe can only watch in awe of her girlfriend, wondering how the hell she got lucky enough to actually be with the woman she’s so hopelessly in love with.

It was Beca’s idea to have chinese food and watch the sunset, just like the first time they hung out five years ago. 

Climbing into the backseat is Chloe’s idea.

Their lips press together insistently as Chloe straddles Beca’s waist, her head hitting the roof of the car. Beca lets out a sweet, breathy laugh as she reaches up to run her hand through her hair, rubbing at the place she’d hit it.

“You know,” Beca murmurs against Chloe’s mouth. “With how much of a mess your car is, this is probably super unsanitary.”

Fingertips run up Chloe’s thighs, riding higher and pushing her skirt up around her waist. Chloe laughs at Beca’s comment, pulling back to change the angle of their kiss, not missing the way Beca’s mouth chases hers for a second before they’re kissing again.

“We could stop,” Chloe tells her. “But it’s about a twenty minute drive back home.”

“Dude, no way.”

Chloe laughs again, pulling back. Her hands cup Beca’s face and her breath catches in her throat at the sight of her girlfriend looking up at her. There’s a sort of wonder in her eyes that Chloe has started to notice more frequently than usual. It’s there on a morning when they have breakfast together before work, and at night when Chloe is reading a book and drinking tea and Beca is climbing into bed, tired from a long day at work.

It’s there when they take showers together to preserve water, and when they’re watching movies with Amy, all huddled together in one bed.

It was there in Beca’s senior year when they spent Christmas together, sitting beside each other as they ate way more food than they could handle.

“Chloe.”

She blinks out of her daze, thumb brushing over Beca’s flushed cheeks.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Chloe breathes, smiling. “Everything’s perfect.”

* * *

“I like who I am when I’m with you.”

Chloe opens her eyes and lifts her head off of Beca’s shoulder to look at her, and she’s not surprised to see her already smiling shyly.

“That was cheesy, sorry.”

“No,” Chloe smiles, turning to look at her fully, adjusting the blanket around them. Beca’s arm drops from around her shoulders down to her waist. “That was cute. Tell me more.”

Beca laughs.

The windows are fogged up and their breathing is still a little ragged, and Beca looks beautiful in the darkness of the car.

“Just…” she runs her fingers over Chloe’s arm, lightly scratching down the inside of her wrist before intertwining their hands. “I feel like I haven’t been this happy in a long time and it’s— I don’t know. It’s all you. You’re the best thing, Chloe.” She lifts Chloe’s hand up to kiss it, and Chloe’s eyes twinkle as she smiles. “You always have been.”

She can’t help but lean in to press her lips against Beca’s, soft and slow. When she pulls back, Beca’s eyes are closed. She leans up to press a kiss to each of her eyelids, and a smile grows on Beca’s face before she opens them.

Beca glances down at her lips, before looking away.

Chloe wants to tell her that she doesn’t need to be nervous, it’s just her, but Beca is reaching over to the window, the blanket dropping down a little to reveal her bare shoulder. Chloe has to resist the urge to kiss it, instead watching as Beca writes on the condensation on the window.

_ i love you _

Chloe’s throat tightens, her mouth opening in a gasp.

“You make everything so much better, Chloe,” Beca says, and Chloe can feel her eyes starting to tear up but she clenches her jaw to try and stop them. “You’re my best friend. My… person. I can’t imagine loving anyone but you.”

Chloe chokes out a laugh mixed with a sob as she presses her forehead against Beca’s chest. Beca’s arms come around to hug her tightly against her body, her hand rubbing over her back soothingly, letting her cry for a moment.

Being here in Beca’s arms, Chloe can’t imagine anywhere else she’d rather be.

She pulls back, and Beca reaches up to wipe the tears under her eyes with a small, trembling smile. Her fingers brush over Chloe’s jaw, thumb coming up to glide across her bottom lip.

“I love you,” Chloe whispers. It comes out garbled and wet from her sobs, and Beca laughs as she slides her hand to the back of Chloe’s neck to pull her in again.

The pain of being in love with Beca for so long finally, slowly, starts to disappear; dwindling more and more with each kiss Beca presses against her lips. Each stroke against her cheek to wipe away her tears. Each finger that runs down her stomach as she lays her gently onto her back.

Each “I love you” whispered into her skin. 

Chloe always says it back.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if you enjoy my writing, please follow me on [tumblr](http://bechloehuh.tumblr.com/)


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